I was on the train to London after having again done my usual trick. I had worked for a while but then become disenchanted with my job and so left it. I had a bit of money so I decided to take some time out in London to ease the pain of facing normal everyday life. I had done this sort of thing before.

My friends were not sure if I was brave or just plain crazy to take the 200 mile trip to London by myself. I figured it was no big deal. Anyway I had done this before.

I absolutely hated any job I found myself in and was always looking to leave it and have a good time.

I did not have a lot of money but I figured I could survive a few days in relatively good conditions and have a few nights on the town as well.

I used to enjoy the train ride as I could just look out at the scenery and allow my thoughts to wander wherever I wanted them to.

I frequently looked at the luggage racks for security reasons. If a bag was left on the rack without good reason the guard had to be notified because of the danger of a possible Irish Republican Army (I.R.A.) bomb attack. It always paid to check the racks every time the train stopped and started.

My eyes made one of their customary trips to the luggage rack above my head only to find an unusual experience. As I glanced up at the rack it was as if there was a hole straight through it, almost as if it had been punched there by Superman. The hole went right through the roof too. Through the hole I could see what appeared to be a normal blue sky with some white clouds. Into this scene came two characters.

There, in the sky, were two men. They appeared to be wrestling and for some reason I had the overwhelming feeling it was me they were fighting over. Something like this had never happened to me before but rather than being perturbed by this sight I just looked away and out of the window and carried on with my journey. I do not think the reality of what I had experienced had really hit me. In fact it was going to be a week or so later before I would understand what it all meant.

As the train passed Watford Football Ground I knew it was nearly time to disembark. I made myself ready. In London I always felt a sense of freedom and adventure. It was good to be back.

I found a place to stay in a boarding house where I could pay one day at a time. That suited me as I did not know from one day to the next what I would be doing. I had a small room with a single bed, wardrobe and small dresser. It looked good to me.

My first day in London was spent seeing a few of the tourist sites and enjoying some of the pubs.

My second day was pretty much the same until the evening came. I decided to find a pornographic movie theatre and start to really enjoy myself.

I found a place suitable for my desires, paid my fee and took a seat. The place was packed. There were a couple of movies to be seen and I watched the first one quite happily.

During the second movie I began to feel decidedly uncomfortable. I started looking around at all the others gathered there. It seemed really strange. Just about everyone was leaning forward in their seat with their eyes and tongue hanging out. I felt increasingly uneasy.

As the second movie finished I made my way along with everyone else to the exit. As I pushed my way through the swinging exit doors it hit me. Conviction!

As I had walked from the dark theatre into the bright lights of the foyer it was as if the bright lights were shining into me and casting light on the darkness within me. I did not really know what was happening to me but I sure felt dirty on the inside. I made my way through the foyer and down the front steps and into the main street.

Still feeling perturbed I was distracted from my thoughts by a young woman suddenly appearing in front of me, slapping a piece of paper in my hand and saying, “ Jesus loves you and I love you too!”

My feelings of uncleanness were quickly cast aside as I considered this was an opportunity too good to miss. Love was what I wanted and for me it was better spelt S.E.X.

I figured I was onto a good thing and did not want to let the chance slip. I began to chat the girl up and try to get her to have a drink with me. This was to no avail as she had to catch the tube train home. But there was hope for me and the chance of success on another day. This came in the shape of the ‘Poor Boy Club’ coffee shop.

I arranged to meet her there on Friday evening, so we said our goodbyes and went our separate ways. But I would look forward to seeing Miriam again in very near future.

The next morning I awoke with Miriam on my mind. It was Wednesday and I figured there just might be the possibility that the ‘Poor Boy Club’ could be open that night so I decided to use my time that day to find my way there.

The address was Finchley Road and would be easy to find by tube train and bus. Eventually boarding a Finchley Road bus I asked the conductor to let me know when I was near the number I wanted. Finchley Road seemed to go on for ever and ever, the longest road I think I had ever encountered. I reckoned the conductor must have forgot about my request so I alighted at the next bus stop.

Not so clever a move as it ended up taking me about another three quarters of an hour of walking before I reached my destination.

The club was closed when I arrived there but a sign on the door showed that it would be open later in the evening at 7:00pm. It was now 5:30pm so I decided to find a place to eat. I found a cafe just up the road from the club and I could see the clubs front door from my window seat.

Someone arrived to open up the club while I was still eating tea which meant I wouldn’t have to hang around on the street waiting for the place to open.

As I walked in the front doorway of the club I was confronted with a flight of narrow stairs and the sound of laughter coming from somewhere upstairs which I could not see yet.

As I reached the top of the stairs they took a sharp turn left and lead me onto a narrow corridor about 5 metres long. In the corridor were two guys talking and laughing with each other.

“We’re not open yet” said the tallest of the two as he headed for the room at the other end of the corridor. I think my arrival had reminded them that they should be setting up the place and not standing around talking.

“Hi” said the other guy left standing there.

“I’m Sammy” he continued as he reached out to shake my hand.

He was about the same height as myself with a shock of fair hair and a short but bushy beard. His smile was as broad as I had ever seen and his eyes had a real sparkle to them.

His eyes had met mine as he reached out his hand which was all very confronting to me. I took his hand and introduced myself but allowed my eyes to look anywhere but at his.

I was quite taken by his apparent willingness to talk to me. He came across as very sincere and genuinely interested in me. While we spoke he stepped into a small booth built into the wall of the corridor which happened to be the ticket office. As we continued talking people were entering the coffee shop and Sammy was taking a fifty-pence entry fee from them.

I told him about my encounter with Miriam the night before and that I was hoping to see her that evening. He told me that he did not think Miriam would be there until Friday but that there was another girl I could talk to if I wanted.

I figured, what the heck, any port in a storm.

He was going to let me off the 50 pence entry fee if I could not afford it. Even though I would have preferred not to pay, I did so in fairness to Sammy.

He took me into the coffee shop which was quite dingy and had music playing. Standing there just inside the entrance to the room were a guy and girl chatting. Sammy introduced me to them and the girl suggested that her and I sit together and have a coffee. I readily agreed with this suggestion thinking to myself that this was too good to be true.

The girls name was Rachel and we moved to an adjacent little room with tables and benches ( I think where I met her was supposed to be the dance floor).  We sat together on a bench seat and instead of coffee we had a can of soft drink each.

Rachel took a chain from around her neck with a pendant on it and asked me, “Do you know what this pendant is?” I held it in my hand and to me it looked like a key ring. I figured that would be the wrong answer so rather than make myself sound dumb I Just said, “No”

It’s a ‘Yoke of Love’ she replied.

“We sell them” she said, pointing to new ones for sale on the counter.

She raved on about how people could be ‘Yoked’ together through love. It all seemed a pretty dumb idea to me but I kept listening in a polite sort of way.

“Do you read the bible” enquired Rachel.

Now this was where I figured I would really impress her. I reached into my jacket pocket and pulled out a small bible, about 2.5centimetres square as I said, “This is the smallest New Testament in the world and I use it as a good luck charm.” This statement was absolutely true.

At this stage in my life I had made the decision to call myself an atheist. The fact that I had this bible in my pocket was due to a girl at school giving it to me in a swap deal, it had nothing to do with any religious inclination on my behalf. I just carried it around with me and whenever I was in any sort of need I would grab a hold of it and wish that things would work out for me. It seemed to work for me too.

Much to my chagrin my bible didn’t seem to cause her to bat an eyelid let alone impress her. She made little comment about the bible but asked, “Do you believe in God?”

My response surprised me.

“Yes” I said. Why I said “Yes” I am not sure. I had publicly declared my atheism a number of times so now why was I saying “Yes”?

As the thoughts went through my mind I remember saying within myself, “God if you are listening I don’t really believe in you, I’m only saying this to get somewhere with this girl.” (How I could talk to a God I said did not exist I will never know)

“Do you know that God loves you?” said Rachel looking for the answer in my eyes.

I remained silent.

This did not seem to phase her as the story unfolded from her lips of a God who had given His life for all the wrong things that I had done and that He had done it because He loved me.

I must say, I did not understand much of what Rachel was saying but she had my full attention.

Continuing she spoke of Jesus and His love for me even though I had done bad things.

“Do you believe you have done wrong things in your life Paul?”

Now this really did begin to ring bells on the inside of me due to the fact that my experience at the movie theatre had made me realise that I was ‘dirty’ on the inside.

Not that I had really understood what it meant for me. Rachel explained to me that the wrong things that I’d done were what the bible called ‘sin’ and that these were the very things that Jesus had died for.

Then Rachel spoke of something that caused me to have a sense of hope within me, God’s forgiveness.

She explained how God wanted to forgive me and have a relationship with me, but it was up to me to ask him, God would not force himself upon me.

“Do you ever pray?” she asked.

Again I was put on the spot with a question I wanted to answer “No” to but which I knew deep inside, if I was to be honest, demanded a “Yes” answer.

I squeezed out a “Yes” be it ever so begrudgingly. It was hard for me as it was a sort of confession and a very personal thing to share with a stranger. Not to mention my personal confusion of realising that I did pray to something which I reckoned didn’t even exist!

Rachel seemed to be getting excited as the next question flowed from her lips. (I don’t think anyone had ever asked me so many personal questions in my life!)

“Would you like to pray to God now and ask Him to forgive you for all the things you have done wrong?

I opened my mouth to answer but before I could say anything her next question emerged.

“Then you could ask Jesus to come and live in your heart to be your Lord and Saviour. Would you like to do that?” Rachel’s face was beaming as she asked the question, as if she knew something I didn’t.

I did not understand all that Rachel was saying but for some strange reason I said I was willing to pray but that I had no idea what to say. I figured this gave me a way out. I figured wrong. This girl was persistent!

“I’ll pray and you use the words I use but say them from your heart to God”.

I was cornered with no way out so I just said “Yes”.

Rachel took the lead.

“Let’s just bow our heads and close our eyes”, she said.

“Just repeat my prayer after me, a bit at a time”.

As I bowed me head and closed my eyes I said a sort of silent prayer before Rachel even started to pray. I didn’t think it was real praying at the time, it was more a sort of quick chat to God. In the silence of my heart I said, “God I’m going to pray to you now but I have to be honest and tell you that I’m not sure you are really there.”

Rachel began to pray with me repeating her.

“Dear Living God...”

“Dear Living God...“

“I admit I have done wrong things...”

“I admit I have done wrong things...”

“I know you call these wrong things sin...”

“I know you call these wrong things sin...”

“I accept that Jesus died for all my sins...”

“I accept that Jesus died for all my sins...”

“I now ask you to forgive me for all that I have done wrong...”

“I now ask you to forgive me for all that I have done wrong...”

“And for all the sins I have committed...”

“And for all the sins I have committed...”

“I believe that Jesus rose from the dead...”

“I believe that Jesus rose from the dead...”

“And is alive today...”

“And is alive today...”

“And I ask you now Lord Jesus....”

“And I ask you now Lord Jesus....”

“To come into my heart...”

“To come into my heart...”

“And be my personal Lord and Saviour....”

“And be my personal Lord and Saviour....”



As I opened my eyes I saw Rachel with a big smile on her face looking at me as if expecting something was going to happen to me.

And happen it did!

As I sat there I felt different on the inside. My heart felt like it was going to burst. It was as if my chest was expanding. My mind felt at peace. A smile came upon my face, one which I could not seem to control.

“How was that?” asked Rachel, still with a look of anticipation on her face.

I opened my mouth to answer her, but no words would come out. I just had an incredible sense of joy. My speech was gone and replaced by joy unbridled. I literally could not speak. I tried really hard to but all I could do was smile and laugh and offer gestures signifying that my heart was full.

I motioned with my hands on my chest, something had changed on the inside but I was not able to communicate about it with words.

For the first time in my life I was experiencing love. Love unbounded.

I had an incredible awareness the Jesus was in my heart and that God was indeed alive!

Rachel took me over to Sammy and another guy who had turned up who I was later to find out was their leader.

“Tell them what has just happened to you Paul”

Again I opened my mouth to speak, but no words came out, just more speechless joy expressed in heavy sighs which sounded like I was having breathing problems more than anything else.

The three of them just laughed with me and seemed overjoyed at my new found experience.

I lost all sense of time during the rest of the evening and just wallowed in my new found joy. I remember we had locked up the coffee shop and were walking to a car to take me to the tube station when this lady appeared out of nowhere selling small bunches of flowers. I had no money for flowers but I took her by the hand and started to dance with her in the street while at the same time telling her how much God loved her. She just laughed off what I had to say.

On arrival to the tube station I arranged with Sammy and Rachel to meet them at the Poor Boy Club on the Friday night. We hugged, which was new to me, and I disappeared into the tube station.

I had a day ticket so I went straight to the platform I required. Standing alone on the platform I was still overcome with joy and smiling away to myself. Trains came and went and it suddenly dawned on me that I must be sticking out like a sore thumb.

I prayed, “Lord I must look a proper idiot standing here smiling at nothing. You better take it away or people will think I’m a nut case”. It did not go away.

I arrived back at the boarding house quite late and quietly made my way to my room. I was very tired so I quickly got ready for bed, turned off the light and jumped between the sheets.

I thought I would fall to sleep in no time at all but I was to be proven wrong in the most sinister way I had ever known.

The room was already dark but in the midst of the darkness came what I could only call another sort of darkness. It was as if an evil presence filled the room. I must admit I was quite scared and just lay there not knowing what to do. To make matters worse I could seem to sense what this ‘presence’ was saying to me. I was being threatened by some kind of spiritual force. I was being told that I had chosen the wrong way and that there would be consequences for me if I continued with this direction in my life.

I was shaking with fear at this point as I had little idea as to why this was happening to me. Then something inside of me seem to tell me it was the Devil trying to intimidate me and trying to make me too scared to follow Jesus.

I did not have a clue what to do so I just prayed and asked Jesus to be with me. The evil presence left the room and I was at peace again, but I was not sure how.

I did not realise it at the time but I had just experienced my first bout of spiritual warfare even though I had no idea what it was all about and unbeknown to myself at the time, it was going to be a few years before I would.

As I settled down to sleep I was bewildered at the sudden turn my life had taken in the space of a few short hours.

Friday came around quickly and I again found myself in the Poor Boy Club talking to Sammy. We had something in common now, we both knew Jesus.

Miriam arrived and seemed interested in me and I shared my news with her. She was over the moon with excitement for me and listened with keenness to my story of meeting Jesus.

After she had heard my story Miriam moved on to talk with others, she didn’t seem that interested in me for the remainder of the evening.

My life had changed drastically because of the people I was now enjoying myself with but I had no idea who they were or where they came from. That was about to change.

The leader who was there the night I found Jesus came up to me and asked me when my birthday was. For some reason I felt uneasy and vulnerable in his presence. He was tall and slim with dark features and a constant thoughtful look on his face, as if he was always thinking what he would say or do next. His name was Peter


“Eighteenth of February”, I answered.

This caused something of a stir among the group of ‘believers’. It turned out that my birthday fell on the same day as the international leader of their religious group, a guy called Moses David.

It was at this point that I discovered that this band of people were all members of a sect called the ‘Children Of God’. This did not freak me out too much at the time as they had led me to Jesus and I was feeling the happiest I had ever been in my life. Anyway I had no idea who the ‘Children of God’ were.

For some reason though I was a bit perturbed regarding all the fuss over my birthday. I just reckoned that should be no big deal to God. I did not share my thoughts with anyone at the time though.

Peter invited me to live with the group at a house they were squatting in at Hampstead Heath. As I was due to leave the boarding house the next morning because I was quickly running out of money, I considered his offer too good to refuse.

The next morning I found myself knocking on the door of the biggest house I had ever seen normal people live in. It was amazing to my eyes. I had been brought up in a council house in South Yorkshire and this was light years away from that.

I could not believe it as Sammy opened the door. In the short time I had known him it seemed like he was becoming an old friend.

As I stepped inside I was taken aback by the entrance area which lead into a large hall with a staircase leading from it. I had never seen so much elegant woodwork in a house before.

There were people milling around everywhere and it all seemed very busy. Sammy introduced me to people as they passed by us. Too many names to remember.

“We all have a name from the bible”, said Sammy.

“If you stay with us you will receive one too”

I made no comment but I thought my name was OK as it was.

Peter appeared at the top of the stairs on the landing. It seemed obvious now that he was the leader as he was like a general marshalling his troops. All seemed to be looking to him for direction.

I had arrived at a time when the whole household was preparing to hit the streets for evangelism. I did not understand what this meant but Peter invited me to be involved and explained his expectations to me.

Apparently each person received what they called ‘Mo Letters’. These were small booklets which had been written by the founder and leader of the ‘Children Of God’, Moses David. These were to be taken to the streets and generally given away but if at all possible money should be gained in exchange. This would provide funds on which the group would survive.

I was given about 50 booklets but I was so keen I insisted in taking more so I ended up with 100 of them and a sincere belief that I might still not have enough.

We were split up into teams and I was with Rachel and a guy I had just met called Thomas. All the teams left the house and made their way to their designated destinations.

We had to catch a bus and once at our destination I was left as to no doubt as to what I had to do. Rachel and Thomas would just thrust their hand complete with Mo Letter in front of people walking down the street. If a person tried to take one they were engaged in conversation and encouraged to offer a donation. If the conversation could lead to talking about God then all the better.

I saw many different responses from people throughout the day. Most people just kept on walking as if nothing was before them. A few were eager to get hold of a Mo Letter and make a suitable donation. Still others, especially youth, were open to chatting, mainly about God with questions about life and death. Few seemed to ask who the Children of God were.

Thomas was a tall attractive guy in his early twenties and seemed to target talking to girls. At one point he was surrounded by four teenage girls merrily chatting away with them.

In contrast, Rachel obviously targeted young men.

I did not do a lot on the day. I mainly just tagged along and observed. When I did manage to engage someone in conversation Rachel and Thomas were usually on hand to take control of the situation.

We arrived home four hours later.

As I walked in the door Peter greeted me with a broad smile and a question.

“So Paul, how many Mo Letters did you manage to distribute today?”

This was embarrassing for me as there were quite a few people standing around waiting for my answer.

“Two” I said, lowering my eyes to the ground.

“Well done” said Peter as He put his arm enthusiastically around my shoulder.

“That’s two more than the church” he quipped to the delight of his audience.

“And how much money did you raise”

“Three shillings” I said excitedly. I knew it wasn’t much but from just two people I thought it was great!

Peter and the crowd gave a cheer and laughed as if I had won a victory of some sort.

Others began to share what they had done until we were interrupted with the announcement that dinner was being served in the dining room

After dinner I was shown to the bedroom which was more like an army barracks with about 15 single beds in the one room. I was given the bed of a guy called Peter Green who was away at the time and used to be the lead guitarist of Fleetwood Mac. From what I could work out he was not part of the group but stayed with them often.

The next morning I arose to the arrival of Peter Green who was pretty annoyed that I had slept in his bed given that some spots on my shoulder had bled in the night and stained the sheets. I was embarrassed enough that it had happened let alone the whole household hearing about it from Peters raised voice. We parted amicably eventually though.

After breakfast I was handed over to young man called Michael who took me away into a room by ourselves with a bible.

We sat down in this massive room and he began to read and explain the bible to me. To be honest none of what he was saying to me seemed to be making sense. I wasn’t sure if it was him, me or the bibles fault.

Every so often Peter would pop his head around the door and ask Michael how things were going. I felt like I was being tested.

At the end of my bible study I was then handed over to another guy called Paul who took me for a walk on Hampstead Heath which was next to where we were staying. It was just a large parkland area. We walked and chatted for an hour or so. I was not sure if it was my imagination or not but I had the distinct feeling I was not being allowed to be by myself. It also seemed to me that whoever I spent time with wanted to know about my personal financial position and my family life. Neither of which rose to any great heights at that time in my life.

Virtually all I had in the world was what I stood up in, a small case with a few clothes, plus five pounds and a return train ticket to Sheffield. My mother had written to me saying she could not manage with my unstable lifestyle and that it might be best if I left home permanently.

These things did not worry me too much as I could always go on the dole if I needed money and I never did what my mother wanted anyway.

Paul and I returned to the house where on arrival Peter took me to one side for a chat together with Sammy. Peter told me I would not be able to remain with the group. I was not surprised to hear this. Somehow I felt that I had failed the test of the group. I was not the sort of person to just go into things without asking, well I might go so far maybe, but not the whole distance.

Sammy was disappointed with the news and looked disbelievingly at Peter. He received a stern look in return as if to say, “Back off”.

I did not hang around for long after that. I was encouraged by Peter to contact a ‘Children Of God’ group in Manchester when I returned home and Sammy was asked to show me to the door.

I felt OK about it all but I could tell Sammy was upset. As we said farewell to each other on the doorstep, we hugged and I gave him a brotherly kiss on the neck. Never before had I hugged and kissed a man. But here was my brother in Christ and God’s love joined us together with genuine love and friendship. As I walked away we both had tears in our eyes, another new experience for me. God had put something new in my heart and I was acting like a different person with new life in me.

It had been the most amazing week of my life and now I was on the train heading back home. As I thought of all that had happened to me I wondered how friends and family would respond when I told them.

I had a part-time job as a barman in a Catholic Social Club and as I was generally in there every day of my life I thought I would go there before I went home. I arrived at the club about an hour before closing time on a Sunday evening.

As I walked in a drink was automatically poured for me with my friends eager to know the news from my trip. There was a look of disbelief on their face as I told them. I didn’t say too much just that I had found Jesus and that He was God and a real person and that they could get to know Him as well if they wanted to.

I didn’t realise it at the time but I was witnessing to others.

One friend reminded me that I had said that the singer David Bowie was god. I said I had been wrong and now I knew that Jesus was God. He said he would remind me one day when the novelty of my new found faith wore off and I returned to my pop star. He never has had the chance to.

As the news went around the club others invited me chat with them about my experience. This was really great for me as although I did not know all the right things to say I knew Jesus and my excitement about that really seemed to challenge people and make them want to listen.

I walked home from the club having shared about Jesus with many people and feeling really great about it all.

As I reached home I walked in the door to find my mum and my great aunt sitting on the sofa. As I walked in I could not contain myself but blurted out, “I’ve found Jesus, He’s real”.

Mum looked at me in a troubled manner as she said, “That’s good dear”

We chatted about Jesus for a while and all that had happened to me. Mum was suitably impressed but concerned about the ‘Children Of God’ as she had seen something on the T.V. about how they supposedly cheated people of their money and split families up. Mum said they were a cult and dangerous.

As I went to bed I appreciated what mum had said but I was still determined to visit the group in Manchester.

The next morning I woke up ready to read my ‘Mo Letters’. I had quite a few with me and had decided to learn all I could from them. I was not impressed with what I saw. Even though I did not know much about the bible the things I were reading seemed suspect to me.

There was the booklet ‘Flirty Fishing’ which openly encouraged flirting with members of the opposite sex in order to win them to Jesus. There was no restriction on how far you could go.

Then there was the ‘Mo letter’ called, ‘Holy Holes’ which discussed all the holes in a person’s body and why they were there. There seemed to be unhealthy connotations to the letter.

I began considering all the comments from the group in the past week and the things which had seemed suspect to me.

It took me a while but I finally came to the decision not to seek further involvement with the ‘Children Of God’. By seeking to discern all that had happened I believed that God was showing me that was the right decision to make.

I will be eternally grateful that they introduced me to Jesus.

Little did I know at the time but it would be five years and only after some life changing personal encounters with God before I would ever step foot in a church.

But one thing I did know. Jesus Christ was really alive and was Lord of all.

The vision I had of the two being wrestling above the train had been answered for me. They were representative of good and evil wrestling over my soul. God wanted me and the Devil didn’t want him to get me.

God won!


Biblical Evidence Jesus Is God Two Natures of Jesus Truths about Jesus

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Who Is Jesus? The Incarnation of Christ Childhood of Jesus
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